Relapse Prevention: Coming back from a relapse...

COMING BACK FROM A RELAPSE

Abdullah Baniyameen
baniyameen@aol.com
June 17, 2009

NOT EVERYONE WHO IS RECOVERING FROM AN ADDICTION RELAPSE, BUT THE POTENTIAL IS ALWAYS THERE.

DEFINING RELAPSE:

• The first definition of relapse is general and can apply to any illness:
• A relapse is falling back into a former state, or returning to an active phase of a disease after a partial recovery.
• The second definition is more specific to addictive illnesses:
• A relapse from an addictive illness is a return to attitudes, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors that lead back to addictive addiction.

HISTORY OF RELAPSE:

• Most people in recovery would be quite willing to admit that they sometimes get back into old behaviors patterns or old ways of thinking. This is often called “stinking thinking”. Unless this changes, it will usually lead back to using.
• People who are working a good recovery program become aware fairly quickly that they’ve derailed into these old patterns and know what to do to get back on track.
• Examine a relapse and the circumstances and events surrounding it can help understand what led to a return to using.
• In effect, each relapse has its own history.

IDENTIFYING RELAPSE FACTORS:

• There isn’t one simple or clear – cut answer to why people relapse?
• The reasons for relapse vary, depending on individual personalities and circumstances.
• There is seldom one reason for a relapse.
• Relapse is generally caused by a combination of factors.
• What are the “tools” that might have prevented them from using?

FACTORS THAT CAN LEAD TO RELAPSE:

• SOMETIMES PEOPLE SET THE STAGE FOR THEIR RELAPSE BECAUSE THEY DON’T GO TO ENOUGH SELF – HELP MEETINGS.
• OR THEY MAY ATTEND MEETINGS, BUT DON’T USE THEM EFFECTIVELY TO GET HELP.
• NOT ATTENDING RECOVERY MEETINGS.
  - Work! Work! Very Busy, Other commitments
• NOT USING THE TWELVE STEPS MEETING EFFECTIVELY.
  - In disclosure, not being open
• NOT HAVING A SPONSOR.
• NOT BEING HONEST.
  - Making excuses, rationalizing, deceiving.
• FEELING OMNIPOTENT: HAVING AN INFLATED EGO.
  - Feeling in control, unlimited ability to handling problems
  - Feeling different from others; “I’m not as bad as he is”.
  - Need always to be right; fear of making mistakes.
• NOT DEALING WITH ANGER, RESENTMENT, OR GUILT.
  - Holding anger inside or denying it exists.
  - Being unwilling to deal with destructive feelings.
• BEING COMPLACENT.
  - Forgetting about limitation.
  - Having a false sense of security.
• FEELING DEPRESSED AND NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
• FEELING SORRY.
  - Focusing on the negative.
  - Lack the sense of gratitude.
• BEING A PERFECTIONIST OR OVERWORKING.
  - Not allowing mistakes or becoming fatigued.
• BEING IMPATIENT.
  - Want results immediately.
  - Is only my way.
• USING TIME UNWISELY.
  - Leaving too much unstructured time.
• BEING CRITICAL AND JUDGMENTAL OF SELF AND OTHERS.
  - Unrealistic goals.
• ISOLATION.
• EXTERNALIZATION
  - Blaming others instead of taking responsibility.

TAKING STOCK:

• A. Start with the factor you identified as a problem leading to your relapse.
• B. Write examples of the ways this problem caused you difficulty that led it to become a trigger for your relapse.
• C. The key here is to be very specific in listing things you can do or changes you can make to prevent the relapse triggers from causing problems.

JOHN’S DIARY:

• Complacency.
• Meetings can really get boring.
• I began to think that I have arrested my addiction problems.
• I thought things were going well and that I had no problems.
• I thought that I could be with old buddies who were active as long as I don’t use.
• The old memories really weren’t that bad at all.
• Anger
• I always said I felt fine when I was really angry.
• I’d keep my anger inside until some small thing would happen and I’d explode, and felt guilty.
• I was afraid to let myself be angry, because I didn’t know what I might do.
• I always felt like under pressure which led me to a severe headaches.
• I’d yell at my kids when really I was mad at my spouse, boss.

MOVING FORWARD:

• Most recovering people learn that in order for their recovery to continue, they must constantly assess themselves. Part of this process include making changes both attitudinal and behaviors.
• An area that is critical for many recovering people is the necessity of attending a support group.
• Relapse's, almost without exception, indicates that failure to attend support group meetings preceded their using.

ACCEPTANCE OF ADDICTION:

• One reason for relapse is the failure to accept oneself as an addicted person. This often happens because people don’t want to be dependent thus refusing to look at their illness.
• Addiction exists whenever there is loss of control.
• Addiction exists whenever people experience increasingly serious problems in any major areas of life due to their use of an addictive substance or behavior.

MAKING CHANGES:

AN UN – CHANGED ADDICT IS ALWAYS AN ACTIVE ADDICT.

• Change is very much a part of living.
• It’s been said that the only unchanging thing in life is change.
• In general, addicted people tend to find it unusually difficult to accept an unpleasant reality. Perhaps that’s why they often look for “an easier, softer way” and thus gravitate towards addictive substances.

WELCOME TO RECOVERY:

• One of the unpleasant truths involved in relapse prevention is that you need to feel the pain your illness has caused you. Though it is uncomfortable.
• Why must one kept looking at the pain?
• Once forgotten it becomes easy to tell that the past addiction wasn’t that bad or one shoot can’t hurt me that much.
• Remembering the pain is one of the best relapse preventions available.

IMPROVING MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL & PHYSICAL HEALTH:

• Addiction is a mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical illness. Consequently, recovery needs to happen on all of those levels.

MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH:

• I’ll ask someone for a hug today.
• I’ll apologize when I’m wrong. (amendments)
• I’ll share a positive feeling with a friend.
• I’ll praise someone.
• I’ll tell someone that I care for him or her.
• I’ll try to relax whenever I feel tense.
• I’ll let go of resentment just for today.
• I’ll practice some self-affirmation.
• I’ll practice saying no when I need to do so.

SPIRITUAL HEALTH:

• I’ll start and end my day with a prayer.
• I’ll read from one meditation book.
• I’ll tell the truth even if it hurts me.
• I’ll anonymously do something nice for someone.
• I’ll listen to some good music.

SELF-AFFIRMATIONS:

• Very often, recovering people are plagued by low self – esteem. While changing this can be a lifelong task, self affirmations can be helpful tools in changing bad feelings about ourselves.
• People practice affirming themselves in various ways as a means of improving mental and emotional health.

SELF-AFFIRMING STATEMENTS:

• I am loveable and caring.
• I am creative and innovative.
• I am unique, priceless and have a lot to offer.
• I trust myself to go at my own speed.
• I love myself as I am, I am enough.
• I am a radiant being filled with light and love.
• I am accepting of my limitations.

ASKING FOR HELP:

• This often seems to be a problem for relapse’s, so it deserves special attention.
• Frequently, relapse's not only have difficulty asking for help for themselves, but also get overly involve in helping others.
• We see ourselves as self – sufficient and able to handle things.

CONCLUSION:

• BEING IN RECOVERY IS NOT A GUARANTEED PERMANENT STATE AND IS ALWAYS SUBJECT TO CHANGE.
• REMEMBER THAT RELAPSE BEGINS AS A STATE OF MIND.
• CONSIDER THIS THOUGHT AS OF NOW, AT ANY GIVEN TIME ON ANY GIVEN DAY, YOUR ARE EITHER IN A RECOVERY MODE OR A RELAPSE MODE. SO MAKE IT A POINT TO CHECK FROM TIME TO TIME WHICH MODE ARE WE AT.

********************************************